Egypt... Get Thee a Queen!

Watching the Queen's Diamond Jubilee has inspired me with the perfect solution for the political conundrum Egyptians have found themselves into. The solution is so simple, so brilliant, and so elegant that I'm surprised that none of the activists on the ground have thought of it.

Egypt needs not elect a president, since doing so seems to be so darn hard. Egypt needs to get itself a queen!

I'm not a royalist--last I checked anyway--but I see this as the ultimate solution for the leader-worshipping Egyptians out there who, unfortunately, form the majority of the voting pool. Most people are looking for something much more than a president. They are looking for a savior and a leader that will lead Egypt from the darkness to light. They want him strong, invincible, and all-powerfully capable of vaporizing his enemies should they ever dare to exist. They want someone they can adore and even God-ify.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia 

If you seek proof to such claims, look no further than the mysterious case of Hazem Abu Ismail. The charismatic sweet-talking Santa Claus figure who ran for presidency, gathered supporters, and spent millions of Pounds on electorial posters and banners despite knowing that his running for presidency inspite of his mother's American Nationality is in direct violation of the Egyptian Constitutional declaration which bans citizens with dual-national parents from running for presidency.  His supporters went crazy over him, many of them even to the point of pledging their life to him and threatening armed conflict if ever asks them for their support.

Hamdeen Worshipers 

Another, even more mysterious case, is  Hamdeen Sabahy, one of the leaders of the "old" (i.e.pre-revolution) opposition parties who had no popularity whatsoever and then , suddenly and mysteriously, rose to the spotlight. Now all you could hear is Hamdeen this , Hamdeen that. His worshippers liken him to his role-model, the late Gamal Abdel Nasser, who squandered Egypt's wealth on silly wars and died leaving a huge chunk of Egypt occupied, but is still, for some odd reason, worshipped by the masses.

Adore this Sucka!! 

Worshipping masses... listen up!

I hate to burst your bubble but... there is no savior, there is no deliverer, there is no champion! YOU are the champions.  Conscience  is the champion. No one person is ever the answer. The answer is a system. A system that is not self-righteous, but just. A system that can hold those in power accountable for the failings and mistakes. A system where no one in executive position is above the law.

But since Pharaoh worshipping has been sort of our "thing" since the dawn of time, then by all means, elect a cardboard queen... One you can admire, adore, and glorify all you want but let her hold no royal prerogative.

Freedom: A New F-Word ?

Article first Published on BikyaMasr


I'll let you in on a little secret. When I was a dreamy teenaged my parents --especially my dad-- itched when they heard the word Freedom. 


And I believe that most, if not all, Egyptian and Middle Eastern parents still shudder in fear when they here their young one speaking of their demands for Freedom.


"FREEEEEE???? What do you meant you want to be FREEEE?" A parent from our culture always says. 


"Do you want to be homosexual? Do you want to have sex? To do drugs?? Istaghfaro 'llah *asking God for forgiveness*" The parent usually breaks down into tears at this point. "What have I done to deserve such a child? God help me! Why can't you be more like me at your age huh?"


One said parent might've even had a normal adolescence with mistakes that they hate to admit. And if you were ever to confront them they'd say: "well, I want to you to be better than me. I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did." 


The examples are many. But one very common and almost ubiquitous example is the hijabi and/or Niqabi mama who forces the islamic dress on her daughter. 


The mother who, in her day, wore whatever she pleased and dated the guy she eventually married asks her daughter to "cover it all" and abstain from even talking to boys. 


"My parents were not very religious so they didn't teach me right from wrong. But I'll be DAMNED if I watch you be promiscuous!" This, naturally, reads "Do whatever you want as long you're sneaky enough to fool me."


To most of the 'older' generations, Freedom is promiscuity and promiscuity is the root of all evil. 


And the pseudo-liberals we have roaming round in the land of the Nile have a curious way of fighting for Freedom. They offer up assurances that when granted our freedom, we will be good boys and gals and use it properly and respect the social norms and rules and what have you. 
HA!
Freedom, people, is the right to be FREE. To choose your way and find that spark in your soul that's worth living for.


Those who deny us our Freedom do nothing, other than frustrate. Because whether they like it or not, or want to admit or not, we ARE free. Each and every one of us is free to wake up and go rob a bank, or kill our neighbor, or chop our ex in tiny morsels. But we don't because we CHOOSE not to, because we accept moral responsibility and cherish righteousness, at least most of the time. 


And this is precisely why we, as opposed to animals, are responsible for our acts before God. God gave Adam and Eve Freedom the moment he gave them Free Will. He told them not to eat the Forbidden Fruit but left the tree right there in front of them. Their test, as is ours, is fighting temptation. 


So dear Salafi Wahabis or whatever you can call yourself today, please remember that, in the words of William Wallace (aka. Braveheart), you can take away our lives, but you can't take away our freedom!

Egyptian Women: Choose Your Role Model

How did Egyptian women celebrate on International Women Day?

In fact, who celebrated "International Women's Day" in Egypt? 

Well, I didn't; and in my opinion no one in the Land of the Nile should ever celebrate any feminist-related event or anything remotely promoting freedom and equality. 

Why? 

The answer is quite simple because in the Land of the Pharaohs there is nothing for women to celebrate--nothing at all. 

Because in Egypt, the choices for women are not only limited, but ridiculous and pathetic. 

They say that Egypt is a conservative country where women are required to adhere to certain norms or else they will be shunned by society. 

Huh! Nothing could be further from the truth. The fact is that in Egypt for women, as it is for men and even school children, there is only one choice: bow down, or else face the consequences. 

International society--and local activists--worry what "Islamists" will do to women and their freedom, while in fact everyone should be mourning the choices Egyptian women have the Military rule. 

If you want to know what career paths and life choices Egyptian women have nowadays, please refer to the picture below:

1.Marwa(with certificate of recognition) 2.Samira after her molestor walked free 3.Tahrir Girl stripped and Beaten

You can either look up to  Marwa, the Ministry of Interior babe (or any other plastically-enhanced dolled-up over-sexualized male toy) where you make it your life's work to please men of all paths of life by being merely eye candy. Then you will be decorated and celebrated for 'raising the morale' of troops and policemen. 

Mind your own business until your misfortune puts you in the wrong place at the wrong time In which case you will be arrested by the military where you will be molested by a pathetic excuse of a doctor to check if you are a "good girl" and have your hymen. Then, you chicken out of reporting (most of the girls who have had these virginity tests performed on them) and life in shame. If you are hero material (like Samira Ibrahim in the picture), you will stand up for your rights, only to get shamed further and have a judge set your oppressor free. 

There is also the tantalizing option available to Egyptian women and girls of all ages, religions, and all walks of life: getting a good ol' beating-and-stripping a la 'Tahrir Girl Style.' Where your islamic dress won't protect you and your abbaya will not elicit the sympathy of your fellow Islamists. 

So, until further notice, if you'd like to live happily in Egypt, get thee to a Lebanese Plastic Surgeon!

P.S. This blogpost was brought to you by Plastic-Surgeons-Are-Us and Armed-Rulers-of-Egypt

Misogyny in Egypt: More than Attitudes

A few days ago I came across a disgusting picture on Facebook (and of course it has many), but this particular one had hit a chord. It was a picture that portrayed Egypt in a sort of damsel in distress situation where a ghoulish hairy hand in trying to strip her naked in the name of freedom. 
And who was that freedom ghoul? You guessed it! 
The United States of America and its alter ego (NGOs), Israel, Youth of the 6 of April movement (pro democracy group of kick ass Egyptian activists, and the news services which regularly cover violations by thugs of the Egyptian government).

The misogyny and patriarchy of the general Egyptian population is now used for political propaganda.

Here is the offensive picture (the translation is mine.) Look at the shaming and xenophobic messages implied! Outrageous!

 They like to portray Egypt as a woman, because they want to keep her 'covered', facts and all. They want to shame freedom seekers into submission and call upon the "men" of the country to protect their so called honor.  Just as they do when want to incite sectarian violence

Well, I say shame on them! And their women-belittling ways! 

On Hope and Being Young

I found a quotations notebook from my teenage years the other day.

It started off  with stanza One of  Emily Dicknison's

 "Hope is the thing with feathers.

 That perches in the soul.

 And sings a tune-- without the words
 And never stops at all."

It was written up in beautiful colors with an elegant hand writing complete with decorative motifs and small happy scribbles. 

The notebook's was full of quotations, some attributed some not. I flipped through it without much attention--until I found that final page. 

I had not remembered collecting these quotes or making that notebook at all. But from the choice of first quote I had assumed that it was a happy teenage girl's little book--a guide to life, or something of the sort. 

Until I came across the last page.
The page held the last quote: 

"Contentement is when you finally realize that life is a gift, not a right." with a small circular drawing beside it, labeled "Vicious Circle of Wants and Needs."  The circle, scribbled in fading pencil strokes, showed how the "quest for happiness" leads to "unfullfillment" which, naturally, leads right back up to the "quest for happiness."

Then, a sad question a few lines down: "How can I break free?"

The answer was shocking: " God," circled in red.

I must have been fourteen or fifteen when I wrote the first quote. But I remember nothing of the circumstances of writing this one last page.  That page was not just a pious girl's quest for Nirvana, or a plan to relinquish material life. This is was the beginning of what was to be many years of learned helplessness.

I wonder who taught this young intelligent human being full of potential that she has to "stop wanting." Who taught her that happiness is bad? Why did she think that there was no use trying?

What happened between the first and the last pages, you may wonder. Well, the patriarchal misogynist Powers That Be had finally gotten the best of me. A very long story that I am sure I am going to tell someday, or even put it in a book. For many years I battled with this there-is-no-use mentality. Sometimes I won, but most of the time the Powers That Be had something entirely different in mind.

How did that story end? Well, I ultimately came out victorious! The Powers That Be are no longer in charge. I'm in charge!

But somewhere deep inside still lies that sad scared little girl. Is this why I was drawn to writing YA fiction about a girl who thought of herself no good but turned out to hold all the power? Perhaps. But maybe I also wrote it for my daughter, to tell her of all the things that she can be and all the things that she can do--if she chooses to.

The operative term here is "if she chooses to." This is a theme I will come back to time and time again in the Battle for Maat. Aya is not just someone who is fated by blood and heritage for greatness, she had to choose to be great. She will even defy common sense on many occasions because she wants to do what she feels is right and wants to find her own way.

"We are who we choose to be." The blind Seer tells Aya in the beginning of her journey. I believe in that wholeheartedly. Don't you?

Egypt's Sectarian Clashes : Same Misogynists Different Shit

It is with a heavy heart that I write today about the God-forsaken events that shook Egypt in Imbaba , a poor Cairo district. Two churchs were attacked and lives were lost. Egyptian precious lives.

Here I beg to argue that the root of all evils in Egyptian Sectarian tension is partiarchial misogynist attitudes that feed on tribal values and male chauvaunistic tendencies.

A woman is always at the heart of it all. Camilia , then Abir, and probably to be followed by many other unfortunate souls who are denied their rights to choose their lives, their destinies-- and of course , above all,  fall in love.

The story always goes like that: a woman, whatever her religion, defies the socio-cultural norms and makes a husband, brother or father angry. It is usually the story of  a woman seeking freedom from a shattered marriage; or a young girl looking for love in the arms of someone who happened to be from a different religion.
The angered opposed male figure starts to rally for his cause Matters then escalate into a frenzy.

Men are especially prone to going insane over anything that remotely touches on the hackeneyed concept of "sharaf" or honor-- which is coincidentally also our PM's last name. Their 'honor', naturally, is to keep their women nicely tucked away with halos of virtue and chastity , real or imaginary, hovering over their head.

Egyptians... Please grow up before Egypt burns to the ground!

Men, Women and the Whole Nine Yards.

Ever notice how women are the only ones to ever read a how-to relationship manual? Women are also more likely than men to read how to please advice. Who do you think "Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus" was written for? Do you think men care to know where women come from, let alone to please them?
In Muslim countries, the man-pleasing quests take on the form of righteous and pious religious behavior. In the west, it is the quest to be PHAT and sexy--but it is all one and the same. Look the way men want you to. Act the way men want you to. Make them happy. Why?? Because maybe then they will care about your happiness and needs.

All this women-power propaganda is just a thin veil of smoke hiding the ugly truth. It is only the women who are willing to go the whole nine yards. They work and earn money and put on make up. They learn how to cook better, dance better, be better in bed. They learn to be nice and motherly and 'appropriate.'

When was the last time you saw a man Google "how to please your woman" rather than indecent pictures of Carla Bruni?

A woman , on the other hand, Middle eastern or otherwise, will seek to understand and please a man even if it meant turning into a bleached, painted, Silicone sack. I am not saying it's wrong, rather I am wondering why this isn't reciprocated. Forget the why-- maybe it is too obvious.
I guess the question should be will it ever change?

Girl power ! "mais maman je veux être une princesse, moi !"

To my dismay, my 5-year-old daughter made the above statement in reply to why she doesn't like Kim possible, and she prefers watching Spiderman!
MY daughter-me the bona fide feminist!-prefers to be the damsel in distress. She doesn't want to be the savior. She wants to be the little helpless princess locked up in the tower waiting for prince charming. That is her idea of romance. Where did I go wrong? How did society get her? She says she prefers when boys defend girls, and that she hopes that she marries a guy with a nice house! She says her baby brother shouldn't play with dolls and should not wear any color remotely related to pink!!!!!!!
Good God! How did that happen? And more importantly, how can it be fixed?
I am definitely going to gather up some ammo to attack this backward thinking. I will be vigorously searching for books, movies, and story ideas in counteract the patriarchal pop culture rearing its ugly at us every minute of the day.
Maybe I will never get her to take that Karate class, but at least I can teach her to stand up for herself; and that knights in shining armor are just a figment of men's imagination to keep females hidden and locked away, never achieving their true potential.