On mourning and Loving

Bassem Sabry—one  of Egypt’s most prominent bloggers, political analysts, and revolutionaries died a few days ago. I didn’t know him personally—nor did I even know of him before his passing. He was a friend of many of my friends though;  they shared his writings, tweets, and Facebook statuses. Their reaction to the news of his sudden death was all heart-breaking.

I found myself weeping, as it is common especially when someone so young and idealistic dies. Part of the sadness of course is that death reminds us of the loved ones we lost—and the loved ones we are petrified of losing.

And then the most curious thing happened, as more and more people starting gushing over how much they loved and adored and worshipped him. I found myself getting angry. Yes, angry! It’s not my place to judge whether Bassem felt that he was so loved when he was still amongst us because I didn’t know him, but I am old enough, cynical enough, and jaded enough to realize that love is the least expressed emotion among us humans.

When someone dies there’s always a prevailing sentiment of “sorry, I never told you all I wanted to say.” When someone dies, people realize how truly awesome and wonderful that person was. When someone dies, people mourn the passing of loved ones that they never really let them know how much they meant for them in the first place.

We almost always go through life unappreciative of the people who mean the most to us—until they are gone. And this makes me angry! Parents and kids, lovers and friends—we take them for granted for some reason, as if they’ll always be there, as if we’ll always be there. Although we know damn well this is not true.

Mourning brings about sadness but people like to do it—because  mourning is a safe type of loving. Loving the dead is easy. It doesn’t make you vulnerable, you can idealize them as much as you want, and makes you feel like a “good, grateful, sensitive” person. But does it matter? Well, you may honor them by talking about their legacy which is, of course, nice. But does it matter? To them? To the people you loved?

Loving the living is hard. They can hurt you, disagree with you, and most problematically, want things from you. The dead, on the other hand, are a content and don’t ask us for much.

What struck me most about Bassem is not his wit or eloquence—it is how loving he was. He was sending people “just because” messages and tweets to cheer them up, make them feel loved and appreciated. There aren’t many people in our corner of the world so giving of themselves. I wasn’t fortunate enough to have him as a friend, but I am fortunate enough to still have wonderful people in my life whom I am taking for granted but shouldn’t.

I think part of honoring his legacy is to spread the love. To love the living, and recognize that mourning is not the only kind of love there is.

Gay Men Jailed in Egypt: Everyone's Shame

Four men were sentenced to eight years in jail for engaging in "deviant" homosexual acts. These

men were reported by none other than their neighbours. Egyptian newspapers said that the neighbours called the Police because many "feminine-looking" men were frequenting an apartment rented by one of them.

 The Egyptian police searched the apartment and found make-up and female "garments", which apparently is evidence enough for them to arrest the guys and was proof enough for the court later to sentence them for eight years in jail!

There's also another interesting line in the article describing the arrest. The reporter stated that the neighbours "almost finished them off", but the police officers took them swiftly away.

Now, I have been living for the past fifteen years in Egypt and there is one thing I'm sure of about the Egyptian police: they are not a friendly, responsive bunch.

I called the Police on my neighbours on two separate occasions in the past fifteen years. The first was because my next door neighbours were holding a wedding in their own backyard and they were firing celebratory shots in the air scaring my week-old baby to tears every time. The police officer I talked to hung up on me.

The second time was to report a domestic dispute-- the screams of a woman being brutally beaten and the loud roaring insults of an abusive husband. This time the police responder asked if I heard any gunshots and when I said no, he also hung up!

So why oh why does the police--and the courts--care about people's sexual behavior behind closed doors, on private property? We can throw in religion as the easy answer, but I believe the rot runs much deeper. All in all, people in Egypt are not as religious as they'd like to pretend they are. They let a LOT of things go--just so long as it does not threaten their patriarchal society.

Patriarchy-friendly Causes: Bring'em On
Activists in my corner of the world are so predictable, they rarely surprise me anymore. The pick and choose their causes on a whim.

There are two sets of causes: those that threaten patriarchy and those that can be made patriarchy-friendly. For instance, when it comes to women's rights, sexual harassment is a patriarchy-friendly cause. After all, it has to do with "honor." It's a cause that readily gathers supporters and mobilizes activists. Whereas something like Female Gential Mutilation finds much more apathy and down-right resistance--being labeled as "not important now" or "not a priority."

And here allow me to describe a new Syndrome, authentically Egyptian, and proudly adopted by many post-revolutionary revolutionists: the Not-A-Priority-Now Syndrome. Its symptoms are easy to spot and the underlying aetiology is clear: causes that threaten societal hierarchy and patriarchal norms.

Some of the regular victims of this syndrome are: Bah'is who want their religion acknowledged in official papers, Christians who want churches built, Nubian minorities who are seeking long-ignored right, women who want laws to protect them from margination, atheists who are arrested and thrown in jail for their beliefs or lack thereof.

But of course, the ultimate sufferers are the guys with alternative lifestyles--the homosexuals, the gays, the black sheep of  a beaten-down male-dominated society. No one shall stand for them. No one will utter even a cry of dismay. Because, well, they are "feminine" males. They are guys who are being "done to" instead of being the ones doing the "doing."

This is why our revolution is failing us, because the revolution of the mind is far from being completed. When rights, for ALL, are considered worth fighting for, then we can talk about living the dream we've been fantasizing about since the ouster of Mubarak in 2011.

One of my favorite all time quotes about the Egyptian revolution is a quote by the visionary Mona El-Tahawy. She says that our political revolutions will fail, unless we have social and sexual revolutions that push them into the home. I wholeheartedly agree and I think that the sooner Egyptian activists realize this, the sooner they can wash away the shame of their silence and their turning away from the very ideals they promote.

Egypt's Descent into Chaos

I have been trying to write about Egypt, but couldn't. The pain, the confusion, the conflicted feelings deepen when I write--and that sometimes makes it impossible to do so. 
But I decided today that the only way out is through. I decided that I will face my demons and say it like it is. 

Rabaa Massacre: PhotoCredit: Wael Abbas FB
The sign is a "Happy Eid" sign
that literally translates to "May you be well every year"
Irony at its finest! 

Nothing is harder now in Egypt than being human, maintaining sanity and saying the truth: that no one knows the truth! 

No one knows precisely what happened in Rabaa' Square on August 14 2013--except perhaps the bloody generals that ordered the massacre. 

Freedom Mask-
Courtsey of General Sissi
by @Ganzeer

What is undeniable is the outcome of the massacre: more than 600 people killed. Granted, the sit-in had Jihadists and armed thugs in it. But the majority were just regular people who believe that Morsi should not have been overthrown by the Egyptian military. I guess now is that time for a disclaimer: I am not writing an exposé about the events that went down since June 30. This is merely my opinion, as a human being seeking enlightenment and longing for peace. 



In the past few days, I've watched Egypt descend into chaos. Pro-military Junta asking their leader El Sissi to "finish off the Muslim Brotherhood and their sympathisers". While the Islamists declare Jihad and their readiness for martyrdom. What is utterly ridiculous is that both sides use verses from the Quran supporting their arguments. Both parties attack those who do not side with them and both parties want to see us dead--or at the very least locked up. 

Longing for peace in Egypt now is a heinous crime. Any one who dares speak against bloodshed is called a "traitor", sometimes even by their own family!  Any one asking for Rule of Law in Egypt is being called an "Idealist" and a dreamer. Even by Beatles-loving elite who sing to the tunes of the peace-loving John Lennon's "Imagine"!


Any one who dares oppose police and army officers shooting people on the streets are shunned from public life. Any one who dares blame the police and the military for not protecting churches and enforcing laws is mocked, ridiculed, ostracised  and will be soon arrested and tortured--mark my words. 

No one wants to face the truth. 

The circle of violence can only in bloodshed end. 

You think you are big and bad because you condone the killing of civilians on the streets,and you call me a "wuss" for wanting to put an end to the rivers of blood. 

But the truth is you will regret your blood thirst. When the chaos sweeps someone you know, respect or love, you will regret it. When Egypt becomes a blood bath and no one feels safe, you will regret it. When civil war eats away at the country, you will wish you would've listened to us--the dreamers. The voice of reason. 

P.S. لو عايز تقرا حاجه بالعربى لإنسان عاقل و محترم أنصحك تروح مدونة أحمد زكى

Egypt...Is Freedom in the Air?

We will be free. 

Were you taught by English teachers that Freedom is an abstract noun?

Were you taught by science professors that the air can not taste sweet?

Were you taught by acoustic teachers that the chants of the masses can not chime in sync?

Well... you were taught wrong. 

Freedom fills in the air in Tahrir square again, our square, Liberation square. The air is sweet and the chants are heavenly melodious. 

Our hearts flutter with the hopes of freedom yet again. Once more we, Egyptians, will naïvely try to overthrow dictatorship. I don't care whether we succeed or not. It's just that twenty years from now I want to be remembered among the ones who fought, among the ones who stood in the face of the tyrants, among the ones who refused to bow, among the ones who said to Islamists we are NOT afraid of your guns and your merciless hateful laws, among the ones who said to Morsi and the Muslim Brotherhood we are not afraid of you and your "clan."

Egypt... Get Thee a Queen!

Watching the Queen's Diamond Jubilee has inspired me with the perfect solution for the political conundrum Egyptians have found themselves into. The solution is so simple, so brilliant, and so elegant that I'm surprised that none of the activists on the ground have thought of it.

Egypt needs not elect a president, since doing so seems to be so darn hard. Egypt needs to get itself a queen!

I'm not a royalist--last I checked anyway--but I see this as the ultimate solution for the leader-worshipping Egyptians out there who, unfortunately, form the majority of the voting pool. Most people are looking for something much more than a president. They are looking for a savior and a leader that will lead Egypt from the darkness to light. They want him strong, invincible, and all-powerfully capable of vaporizing his enemies should they ever dare to exist. They want someone they can adore and even God-ify.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia 

If you seek proof to such claims, look no further than the mysterious case of Hazem Abu Ismail. The charismatic sweet-talking Santa Claus figure who ran for presidency, gathered supporters, and spent millions of Pounds on electorial posters and banners despite knowing that his running for presidency inspite of his mother's American Nationality is in direct violation of the Egyptian Constitutional declaration which bans citizens with dual-national parents from running for presidency.  His supporters went crazy over him, many of them even to the point of pledging their life to him and threatening armed conflict if ever asks them for their support.

Hamdeen Worshipers 

Another, even more mysterious case, is  Hamdeen Sabahy, one of the leaders of the "old" (i.e.pre-revolution) opposition parties who had no popularity whatsoever and then , suddenly and mysteriously, rose to the spotlight. Now all you could hear is Hamdeen this , Hamdeen that. His worshippers liken him to his role-model, the late Gamal Abdel Nasser, who squandered Egypt's wealth on silly wars and died leaving a huge chunk of Egypt occupied, but is still, for some odd reason, worshipped by the masses.

Adore this Sucka!! 

Worshipping masses... listen up!

I hate to burst your bubble but... there is no savior, there is no deliverer, there is no champion! YOU are the champions.  Conscience  is the champion. No one person is ever the answer. The answer is a system. A system that is not self-righteous, but just. A system that can hold those in power accountable for the failings and mistakes. A system where no one in executive position is above the law.

But since Pharaoh worshipping has been sort of our "thing" since the dawn of time, then by all means, elect a cardboard queen... One you can admire, adore, and glorify all you want but let her hold no royal prerogative.

Freedom: A New F-Word ?

Article first Published on BikyaMasr


I'll let you in on a little secret. When I was a dreamy teenaged my parents --especially my dad-- itched when they heard the word Freedom. 


And I believe that most, if not all, Egyptian and Middle Eastern parents still shudder in fear when they here their young one speaking of their demands for Freedom.


"FREEEEEE???? What do you meant you want to be FREEEE?" A parent from our culture always says. 


"Do you want to be homosexual? Do you want to have sex? To do drugs?? Istaghfaro 'llah *asking God for forgiveness*" The parent usually breaks down into tears at this point. "What have I done to deserve such a child? God help me! Why can't you be more like me at your age huh?"


One said parent might've even had a normal adolescence with mistakes that they hate to admit. And if you were ever to confront them they'd say: "well, I want to you to be better than me. I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did." 


The examples are many. But one very common and almost ubiquitous example is the hijabi and/or Niqabi mama who forces the islamic dress on her daughter. 


The mother who, in her day, wore whatever she pleased and dated the guy she eventually married asks her daughter to "cover it all" and abstain from even talking to boys. 


"My parents were not very religious so they didn't teach me right from wrong. But I'll be DAMNED if I watch you be promiscuous!" This, naturally, reads "Do whatever you want as long you're sneaky enough to fool me."


To most of the 'older' generations, Freedom is promiscuity and promiscuity is the root of all evil. 


And the pseudo-liberals we have roaming round in the land of the Nile have a curious way of fighting for Freedom. They offer up assurances that when granted our freedom, we will be good boys and gals and use it properly and respect the social norms and rules and what have you. 
HA!
Freedom, people, is the right to be FREE. To choose your way and find that spark in your soul that's worth living for.


Those who deny us our Freedom do nothing, other than frustrate. Because whether they like it or not, or want to admit or not, we ARE free. Each and every one of us is free to wake up and go rob a bank, or kill our neighbor, or chop our ex in tiny morsels. But we don't because we CHOOSE not to, because we accept moral responsibility and cherish righteousness, at least most of the time. 


And this is precisely why we, as opposed to animals, are responsible for our acts before God. God gave Adam and Eve Freedom the moment he gave them Free Will. He told them not to eat the Forbidden Fruit but left the tree right there in front of them. Their test, as is ours, is fighting temptation. 


So dear Salafi Wahabis or whatever you can call yourself today, please remember that, in the words of William Wallace (aka. Braveheart), you can take away our lives, but you can't take away our freedom!

When the Armed Reign Supreme

My friends and family from all over the world ask me: “how fares the Egyptian revolution?”

And in all honesty, I choke on the answer. I usually gulp down some coffee and stare into the empty space ahead and shake my head.

For those of you who don’t know, Egypt is now run by the Supreme Council of Armed Forces (SCAF). Does the name sound scary enough? Sounds pretty scary to me!

I’ve always been wary of those who are armed, especially if they reign supreme.

The Egyptian people, however, has a completely different view. Army tanks deployed on the streets of Tahrir square back in the Mubarak-days were greeted with loving chants. Army officers were being hugged by people from all walks of life. Tears of joys were in the eyes of many of the protestors who had once chanted “wahid, itnayn, el gayesh el masry fayn” which roughly translates to “ one … two … our army where are you?” The truly believed in the Egyptian Army as their savior and deliverer from the hellish grip of the brutal police.

“What the hell is wrong with these people,” I had asked .

“What do you mean what’s wrong with them?  Nothing is wrong with them, they’re welcoming our Army.” He said looking at me as if I had just landed from a different planet. “Our army. The army that has sworn to defend and protect us. The army that stands guard to keep Egypt safe.”

I still failed to understand the true reasons behind the love affair between Egyptians and the Army. Not because I had anything against them, but because I knew all too well that the disciplined army soldiers, who live and die by a sacred hierarchical structure, have no taste for democracy--or rights.

Mubarak stepped down, or rather was forced to step down by a yet-to-be-identified entity. And SCAF stepped up.

I immediately did not like this. Armed forces are trained to fight, not rule. It is just a simple as that. They undergo rigorous training that encourages blind obedience, suppresses individuality, fosters patriarchal world views, and teaches blindness to the rights of the one when it conflicts with the good of the many. And herein lies the rub!

SCAF’s current version of the good of the many involves keeping ex-president Mubarak in 5-star suite in a private Sharm El Sheikh hospital.

SCAF are just extending some courtesy to their ex-leader Mubarak, you say? You want us to let it go? Well, Mubarak has ordered the police to gun down protestors which resulted in the death and maiming of thousands of Egyptians, most of them young and still had a full life ahead of them. Mubarak lies in a 5-star hospital bed while the dead lie in their graves. Does that sound fair to you?

Egypt is spiraling down a very dark tunnel while our future is not revealed to us by the powers that be. Lack of transparency, camouflage-clothing inspired perhaps, is baffling us. When EXACTLY are the elections? Dates… numbers? No one knows for sure. Who’s voting? Rumor after rumor followed by a denial here and a confirmation there.

Civilians undergo military trials. While Mubarak, once the high commander of the Armed Forces, is being investigated by the Attorney General. Justice? I think not.

We seek justice for those who were wronged and we seek our long-lost freedom. That’s how I know we are on the side of righteousness.

May 27^th is when we attempt to right the wrongs and walk-down the paths of Tahrir Square again. If you cannot join us, I beseech you, remember us in your prayers. 

Children of the Egyptian Revolution

This piece first appeared on the Imperfect Parent,
titled Tahrir Square Presents Children of the Egyptian Revolution

“Mommy! Don’t ‘Oust’ me! I am not an evil president.” Said my six year old as a reply to my “Allez! Oust! Au lit!” which is French for C’mon and get to bed right away. She associated the interjection ‘oust’ with the English verb she heard so many times from me, as well as on Television where news of attempts to ‘oust’ Mubarak, the evil Egyptian president, was all over. She said that to me in English then switched to Arabic to ask me if I can take her to Tahrir Square tomorrow.

The way she pronounced ‘Tahrir’ square made it clear, beyond any doubt, that she was truly Egyptian. The way she formed the “h” of Tahrir, the letter we represent phonetically as ‘7’ in our Arabic text messages, was impeccable. “Tahrir means Liberation in Arabic, is that why we chose this square mommy?” It was, in fact, just a coincidence--a very befitting one indeed. Liberation square witnessed the largest protests in Egyptian history. Protests which lead to the putting an end to the thirty-year reign of the dictator Hosni Mubarak and has set the country on a path for political reform.

Tuesday January 25^th was the date it all started. My daughter woke up and sat next to me as I was watching live feed showing the protests. I explained to her that people are demonstrating because they want the president to leave because he is not a very fair person and he had done many things that are very wrong. She heard me talking on the phone to friends heading towards Tahrir and that was the first time she heard the word dictator-- or a deektaatoor as we would pronounce it in Arabic. She giggled because a ‘toor’ is a bull in Arabic, so to her, that was a funny way to insult someone. After I was off the phone she said to me, “I know why you call him a ‘tor’. It’s cuz he’s a bully right?” Her eyes sparkled and I did not want to burst her bubble. She spoke the whole sentence in Arabic except for the English word “bully.” She had made an interesting association between the word bully and ‘toor’ which in her mind meant bull. I though this quite amusing and wondered whether I should correct her at all.

“No honey, a ‘deektaatoor’ is called a dictator in English and has nothing to do with bulls. A dictator is someone who likes to hog power and authority all for himself, and he uses them to control people.”

“Aha! He IS a bully then! Told ya mommy.”   This exchange was again in English, and then we went on a discussion, in French, of the differences between ruling a country and being Mayor of ‘Toy Village’--her own imaginary make-belief play land. She did not think there was that much of a difference and so she firmly believed she can be an excellent choice for the next Egyptian president, like Cleopatra. The fact that Cleopatra was not a president did not matter too much to her. A person who rules a country, whether elected or not, should be just and fair. You can hardly argue with that.

Our trilingual conversation is just an example of the multiculturalism that exists in Egypt. We have French, Canadian, British, and American family members in our extended family. In fact, almost every family in Egypt has. And they all have backed up and supported our revolution.

This February, all the children of Egypt, like my daughter, are learning important lessons about freedom, courage and standing up for their rights--values which were only whispers prior to January 25^th,2011.

Speechless in Tahrir Square

Blog about it Amira... write about it.
Well sometimes, the fact is, you are just speechless and utterly at a loss for words.

When history is being written, and we are there, we live it. I could not write about it while it was happening, I was too shaken--and too bitter at all those trying to abort the revolution.

When Mubarak stepped down, I wrote about it on Blogcritics.

And now there is so much to do--and so much to write about.

So let the journey begin....