The Charlie Hebdo Attack: Are We Are Asking the Wrong Questions?

In the past few days, I've been observing the reactions on the ground in Egypt about the Charlie Hebdo attack. And I found it shocking and disturbing how very few people are asking the right questions. The ongoing debates seem to be all about whether one should tweet #JeSuisCharlie , #JesuisAhmed, or both; whether silence is an acceptable response; whether the outrage should be mainly directed at the cartoonists who didn't  respect our religion and thus supposedly endangered their own lives, or at religious institutions that are not combating extremism. It is all about blame allocation and haughty holier-than-thou attitudes across the board. Very little self-reflection is going on and very little awareness of the gravity of the rampant fundamentalism in our culture, its repercussions on us-- and the world-- for hundreds of years to come.

I see news like this popping up and very few people are actually paying attention and I wonder to what extent does most of society condone things like this:

Raif Badawi was sentenced to  10 years in prison, a 1 million Saudi Riyals and a 1,000 lashes. His cybercrime? Insulting Islam by calling for open debate about its interpretations and starting the website Free Saudi Liberals. What is even more astounding in this tale is that Raif’s lawyer, prominent human rights activist Waleed Abu Al-Khair, was also sentenced to 15 years in jail for “inciting public opinion” and undermining the regime.

And let’s not forget the two women facing "terrorism" charges in Saudi Arabia for the heinous terror-spreading crime of driving a motor vehicle. Public response was condemnation then "business as usual" for most and a thinly concealed desire for a women ban on driving in Egypt too.

One may be tempted to say that this is Saudi Arabia and that's what Saudis do but we, in progressive Egypt, are as freedom-loving as they come. Well, news like the three-year sentence Karim Al-Banna received for announcing that he is an atheist prove such optimism to be a fallacy.

Egypt Student Gets 3 Year Jail Term for Atheism

The cherry of the top of this news tour is president Sissi's condemnation of the Charlie Hebdo attack and his call to global leaders to join forces in fighting terrorism and closing down Takfiri groups' websites and portals. Takfiri, linguistically, is the 'ex-communicator', or one who declare others 'infidels.' If the world was to heed Mr. Sissi's call then they should shut down entire countries, Egypt included!

President Sissi calls to fight terrorism and close down Takfiri group websites

There is actually "Takfiri" residing in each and everyone who doesn't believe in freedom of worship, human rights and freedom of expression. And in our corner of the world, these Takfiris are state-sponsored. Heck, the state does its own Takfir. The state thinks it can maintain monopoly on Takfir. But the truth is it can't, these ideas spread like a malignant cancer infesting and infecting the whole culture. It turns most Middle Easterners / Muslims into bigoted, intolerant, freedom-hating people.

The current processes by which religion is handed down and spoon fed to the young is setting them up to be Takfiris-in-the making. They may then become recruited by the likes of ISIS, el Qaeda, or whatever forsaken bloodthirsty terrorist cell offers the severely disturbed ones a home and tribe to belong to.  I find the inability of Muslims worldwide to stop and self-reflect on what might be our contribution to the problem staggering. After all, God explicitly tells us that personal responsibility is the key to change, that all change starts with personal change :"God alters not what has befallen a folk until they alter what is within themselves" Ra'd verse 11. So perhaps the question is not whether or not you are Charlie, but the real question is how is the little Takfiri inside you feeding the circle of violence that is consuming us all.

If you decide you are not Charlie,that is ok. But the question remains: will you accept me when I say that #IamCharlie, and #IamAhmed, and also Loujain and Maysa and Raif Badawi and Waleed Abu Alkhair and Karim Al Banna? Or will you, like Mr. Sissi's judiciary, punish me? If you ask me, a Takfiri is as Takfiri does. We are treading in murky dangerous waters with head-chopping militants roaming in our region, on our streets, social media and our mosques and churches too. Can we really afford forfeiting personal responsibility and duty? I think not!

The debate is not whether you are Charlie or not Charlie, the debate is really whether you recognize how your outdated value system, culture, and your government's backwards policies and practices contribute to the problem.

Helping Loved Ones Grieve

This is another post about death, loss, and grieving—albeit a lot less personal and more practical than yesterday’s article. I feel the need to address grief counselling because, simply put, we have seen so much death in Egypt the past few years. Mental health services in Egypt are not designed to handle issues of a subtle nature such as a grief. 

Family, friends, and even most qualified professionals resort to religious rhetoric assuring the grieving that “we all meet at the other end of the rainbow someday”.  No one takes into account the fact that bringing religion into the mix, in and of itself, is rarely solace and in many cases can be a source of anxiety to the grieving person. 

“She was such an angel,” a grieving friend of mine had told me about his mom. “I’m sure she’s going to Heaven—but being as bad as I have been in my life, I’m not sure I’ll ever meet her again.” He’d said that half-jokingly, but his eyes spoke of his true angst. 

If focusing on the afterlife when talking to the bereaved is a big no no then what can we do? Here I’d like to present a poignant quote from John Welshons’ book Awakening From Grief:Finding The Way Back to Joy. 

“Our job is to be a presence, rather than a savior. 

A companion, rather than a leader. 

A friend, rather than a teacher.”

We are not trying to find magical solutions to offer the grieving—for all we all know too well there is none. But by being present, day in and day out, we help them work through grief and come out whole and functional on the other end. 

Working Through Grief

One of the general models that grief counsellors use is aptly named the TEAR model. Each letter stands for a task the bereaved needs to complete. 

I.To accept the reality of the loss: a phase of “denial” may set in and be longer than one would initially imagine. Funeral rituals are essentially humanity’s way of coming to terms that the person is departed and only their body is left behind. Ghossel, or the “Washing” in Islam for instance is of a special significance. On a more personal note, I had not fully accepted the reality of my grandfather’s passing except when I saw his lifeless body draped in white.  

II.Experience The pain of the loss: This may seem counterintuitive, but it is essential. Experiencing the pain sets the stage for it to go away. By being present, by lending a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on, we can help our loved ones work through their pain. 

III.Adjust to the new environment without the lost person: This adjustment may be needed on more than just the obvious physical level of the changed reality. There is also an emotional adjustment, a void that might have been left by the departed. 

IV.Reinvest in the new reality and learning how to embark on a new life while finding a meaningful connection with the deceased. This is not about forgetting but rather about living without them yet still honoring their life and the memories they shared together. 

Marriage and Grief 

I was reading a short story, Unaccustomed Earth, by Jhumpa Lahiri and she tells of a young woman, Ruma, still grappling with the loss of her mother. I found it fascinating that Jhumpa addressed the effects this can have on a marriage.  

“She could not explain what had happened to her marriage after her mother’s death. For the first time since they’d met…she felt a wall between them, simply because he had not experienced what she had, because both his parents were still living in the   house in Lincoln.”

I think Ms Lahiri got the alienation spot on—but was a tad off on the explanation. What most likely happens when the female partner loses a parent is that her husband, unable to watch her suffer, withdraws at least partially. Many men are not able to be present enough for their grieving women. They seek distractions quickly and leave the woman to her pain. Although this is neither intentional nor a conscious decision, the rift it creates maybe very difficult to overcome. So my advice to a man with a grieving partner is, be fully present, be fully there. Be there longer than you think is necessary. Hug her tighter than ever. Don’t let your own discomfort with tears stop you from wiping her tears away. Don’t let the job fall to someone else, or a wall may be erect between you that stands to damage the relationship over time.

Does God Exist?

Does God exist?

You might think it strange, or philosophical, or even blasphemous—this question that all of us have whispered to ourselves one day, if only in the back of our heads close to where our subconscious lies. Does God exist?

I do have an answer—but my answer is deeply personal, deeply mine. Will it quench your thirst? I don’t know but I will share it. Maybe you’ll see some truth in. Maybe you’ll find in it something that is not in books of scriptures. And maybe it’ll reach a secret part of your soul—the part the affirmations of scholars could never find.

A while back a close friend of mine asked me, “Does God exist?”  I looked at him and smiled wondering whether I should fall into this trap.

In Egypt, you are not allowed to ask such questions, although everyone does— but dares not admit it.

And in Canada, to ask that question was to invite an unwelcome rhetoric of evolutionary and scientific talk that is grounded in the here and now and nothing beyond.

But my answer, my deep personal answer, is not as glamorous or as thorough as the eloquent rhetoric you would get from either camp. So I hesitated, not wanting to sound like a sentimental fool. But the look of genuine openness in my friend’s eyes compelled me, almost begged me, to answer.

“Yes, he does,” I said as casually as I could. “I am sure he does.”

“Why?” He said with a sigh expecting a lecture on how everything is by design and how the stunningly accurate engineering marvels of the universe point to the existence of an intelligent deity.

He was about to be disappointed.

“Because I feel him in my heart. I know he exists. And if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be alive today.” My friend was dumbfounded. My answer was not clever, was not witty, was not eloquent, but it was true. It was my answer as I have come to develop it over the years.

There were far too many dark corners in my life…far too many calamities…far too many disappointments to navigate on my own. If it weren’t for God’s grace, I would not have made it.

I remember that when I was a child, alone in my bed at night, I’d cry and cry and cry for hours on end. Nothing would stop the pain and the tears…except the knowledge, the peace I found inside my heart because God is here. God hears me. And God one day will take me home.

I was unloved as a child; abandoned by parents that didn’t want me. A mother who can’t give love because she has never known it herself and a father who equated parental responsibility solely with financial support. It was in God’s love that I found peace and hope.

Maybe you are persuaded to tell me that it was a little girl’s illusion. That God was nothing but a Santa Claus figure or a Fairy Godmother who kept a miserable kid hopeful.

I tell you that this little kid could not—would not—have made it through the dark times if God did not exist. He manifested himself to me, not just in my heart, but also in all the people who loved, protected, and nurtured me along the way. He protected me from my rashness and my naivety and  my self-destructive urge. He solved problems I never know could be solved. He worked out messes I saw no way out of. And in my bleakest darkest hour, it is my faith in him that was the glimmer of hope burning that kept me going.

This is how I know God exists.

And you... what is your personal answer to "Does God exist?"

Islam The Politically Correct Religion and Racism in Egypt

Racism in Egypt is back by popular demand!
Seems like  racism will always be a popular topic-- be it in Egypt or elsewhere.

There are basically two types of responses:

a) Non Egyptians (of all colors of the rainbow) agreeing with my observation and some recounting their bad experiences with racism in Egypt.

b) Egyptians who are mad at me, and who utterly deny that any of this is true.

To all those who claim that Egyptians are not racist, I offer them the definition of racism from the Merriam-Webster dictionary:
"1. Discrimination or prejudice based on race.
 2. a belief that race is the primary determinant of traits... and confers superiority"
So does that ring any bells? Superior race anyone?? Yep, as Egyptians see it, whites or khawagas are considered inherently superior.

While, like a dear friend brought to my attention, racism in Egypt does not have 'evil' manifestations--just harmless mocking and "slight" discrimination --mind you I don't know if discrimination can be trivialized--
I just find it a behavior not becoming of Muslims. To see a woman in a burqa or a niqab call her Sudanese neighbor "ya sawda" , i.e. black, to insult her, just makes me utterly mad.

Islam was the first politically correct religion. The Quran instructs muslim to abstain from derision, mocking, and name-calling against other 'peoples' -perhaps the Arabic word kawm can also be translated as race ?? It also says explicitly in the Quran that God has created all humans equally, but made them into tribes and 'people' so that they can get to know each other. And he let them all know that the most superior or 'best' people are the ones that fear him and act in accordance with his orders -- you know,  the ones that are generally good people!

Seema Jilani Journalist Extraordinaire!

Want an example of a kick-ass activist, journalist, and humanitarian worker who writes about things that matter not just topics that are right-wing friendly and demeaning to third world countries, and ,either directly pr directly. glorify the west? Look no further, you can read Seema Jilani's great article in the guardian's comment is free section.
Seema Jilani dares to challenge the ill-mannered expatriated party animals drinking their woes away at brand new luxury bars in Afghanistan. She is ferociously attacked by the "free thinkers" who support the right of  their poor fellow colonials in partyin' til dawn.
This reminds me of the scenes from old Egyptian movies where brit soldiers are swaggering drunk at the early hours of the morning in Cairo streets. But I think that what's happening in Afghanistan is worse.
 Back in Colonial times, it was not claimed to be a war on you "for your own good." The British Army did not march into Egypt claiming to free its women and help human rights prosper. They knew they were the big bad wolf, and they didn't care! Ah, it was easy back then. Now things are more complicated. There is terrorism. There is Bin Laden. And there is of course the post 9/11 world of shiny bombs and sticky ambushes and dead civilians in a handful of countries in the name of the war on terror.
People like the pediatrician Dr Seema  Jilani humble me tremendously, but they give me hope. Hope in honest, fair, and enlightened  journalism. 

Two thumbs for sensitive, eloquent souls like Seema Jilani!

Florida Mosque Bombing A Hate Crime

I hate hate crimes, especially the ones that escape the mainstream media radar.
AOL has an article about the bombing of a mosque in Jacksonville, Florida. The explosion shook the mosque at the time of the evening (isha) prayer, and luckily none of the 60 Muslims inside were hurt.

The FBI has some leads--including a video recording of the incident, and the The Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR)has put out a monetary reward for anyone steps forward with information leading to the arrest of the perpetrator.

This bombing took place May 10th, and media coverage remained mostly local. CAIR says that there has not been adequate national media coverage.


This is again a classic case of  use/misuse of media power that I talked about in my previous post.


Media, journalist, and bloggers skillfully choose which hate crimes to ignore and which ones to dwell upon for months--depending on what suits their purposes of course!


So what are your purposes?


P.S. Special thanks go out to Naaila Hassan and Dena Shunra for bringing this to my attention through their tweets.