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| Sultan Morsi I |
Hear Ye… Hear Ye…
By decree of his royal Sultan-ness, Morsi the First,
Egypt has been declared a no-man’s land. Strike that. Egypt has been declared a
no-woman’s land– and a bigot’s haven. Egypt under Morsi’ s reign is tumbling
back into the dark ages and Egyptians are about to witness, first-hand, the innumerable
pleasures of living and thriving under extremist, fascist, totalitarian rulers.
We have been offered a glimpse of the coming attractions
of the years to follow. Between releasing convicted terrorists with innocent
blood on their hands and hopping around Cairo giving religious sermons and
address the nation exclusively from a mosque, Mr. President has really shown
where his allegiances lie.
Actually, he has shown us more than that in his mere 82
days in power. He has shown us that an Egyptian president, no the only Egyptian
president who has been “democratically” elected, can declare himself Sultan
with little to no consequences at all. Not even one teeny tiny demonstration or
reminder that the “revolution goes on.”
When did he declare himself Sultan? Oh, you missed it?
I’m not surprised.
It was cleverly done and stealthily executed. Indeed, the work of a master mind
(perhaps the “Architect”?) Morsi has declared himself beyond reproach. He is,
after all, the Muslim scholar leading the Umma in prayer.
His royal Sultan-ness doesn’t tolerate jokes. He will
send you straight to jail–or to Hell if that can be helped–for them.
He wants his subjects serious and worthy of his infinite
wisdom and his invincible cunning.
You gotta give the guy a break though, he is traumatized by
the amount of ridicule he was subjected to during his presidential race: his
nickname was “Morsi El- Istebin” which literally translates to “Morsi the Spare
Tire” but is meant as “Morsi the Second Best,” referring to his status as being
El-Shater’ s (the Architect) replacement.
El-Shater is the Muslim Brotherhood’s main man, but his criminal record
and a delayed pardon stood between him and the presidential. The Egyptian
people had a few laughs at this, but still elected Morsi anyway.
But now, nobody’s laughing. Demonstrations have been
outlawed and Egyptians continue to be oppressed and imprisoned for their
beliefs. There are whispers in the streets that child marriage will be
legalized, that the already-oppressed minorities will be no longer welcome,
that the marginalized will be further pushed into destitute by his royal
Sultan-ness’ capitalist plans.
The trouble is that his royal Sultan-ness is just getting
warmed up…
